Tuesday, April 16, 2013

life: a journey of faith

i've seen this quote floating around on pinterest many times, and tonight it struck a cord for me.  i know that this journey towards becoming a parent was certainly one of faith and reliance on God and especially in his timing {something all too familiar especially while waiting on His timing for our miracle baby}. but, in reality this made me realize that our whole lives are a journey of faith...

it's so easy as imperfect humans to cry out to God when we need something or when we're struggling through hard times.  it's also so tempting to think that i actually know what's best for me as far as what timing these things i desire should happen in. yet it is all too easy to forget how much we need to rely on Him on a day to day basis for His answers and especially His timing.  it's almost as if we suffer instant amnesia as soon as God answers our prayers or brings a trial in our life to an end.

it's so easy now that i am pregnant and officially in the second trimester of my pregnancy {woo hoo!} to think that i'm out of the woods and i can just coast on my own strength,  it's just so easy to do that!  however, when i stop an examine this tendency i realize that while i was heavily relying on my faith in God in the recent months of praying for our miracle pregnancy and praying to make it through the first trimester without any problems, i experienced a closeness to God.  but in that closeness and triumph of answered prayers it's very easy to start coasting and thinking "ok God, i'll take the control of my life back, thanks!" in reality, this is time when Satan would love nothing more than to knock us flat on our face again, which he's pretty good at doing.  i feel that now more than ever, when i feel like "i" have my life "under control" again, i really need to keep relying on my faith in God, asking for His care and blessing in my life rather than just assume it.

i feel like this is easily depicted between my hubby and i... i think to myself, "geeze, it'd be really nice if he would just see i need his help and offer it without me having to ask." and he thinks, "ok, it looks like she needs my help, but she's stubborn and likes a challenge, so she'll ask if she needs it." and not that the way my hubby thinks is exactly how God deals with us humans, but i imagine it's quite similar.  in my stubbornness, overconfidence, and silly human nature i tend to forget that all i need to do is ask for God's help in my life... yet most times i get so carried away in trying to be in control that i forget the simple act of asking for His help, and in the same way my hubby sees i need help, He {and my hubby} want to be asked or invited to help.

i've learned and relearned many times in my life that our faith in God and His timing needs to be consistent, and not just when we're down in the dumps feeling defeated... it needs to be during the good times too.

Wednesday, April 10, 2013

weeks 8-12 + graduation from our RE's care

yeah, so i'm a little behind here... i've been struggling to figure out if i wanted to keep blogging about my pregnancy here or not, and seeing how the title of this blog is "something glorious," and our little miracle really is just that, i'll continue blogging here.

so i've lagged on posting over the last month of my first trimester, but i think that's due to the fact that i had really been pretty wiped out.  but all for a good cause: helping baby B grow each week is well worth the drain on my brainpower and energy!

here's baby B at 8 weeks looking kinda like a little mouse

and here we are at 9 weeks... looking a little blob-ish, which i think
is because the baby was moving possibly?

and this is our 10 week: isn't it nuts how much the baby is really looking 
like a little baby here?  this is just 8 short weeks after conception...
so crazy right??

alas, this was our last ultrasound with Dr. Mo at 11weeks,
which at this appointment she asked if we wanted her to check the gender,
to which i almost caved and J had to say no we wanted to wait to find out... 
then we realized later we should've had her check and just put her 
guess in an envelope for us to open later... oh well!

here's baby B at our 12 week with my OB, and this baby is such a sleeper, 
was totally content to just hang out as pictured, till the ultrasound tech had me roll on my side for about 10 minutes, to attempt to make the baby roll around a bit.  which the baby did, then
put on a little yoga-like show of stretching it's arms and legs, and proceeded to 
fall back into it's sleep mode again!  if this is any indication of the baby after he or she is born,
i will be one happy person if the baby loves to sleep from the word go!

the tech did say she was pretty certain that she could tell the gender of the baby, and so we had her put her guess in an envelope for us.  still trying to come up with a gender reveal idea so J has those envelopes with him at work till we decide what to do...

as for graduating from our RE, it was so bittersweet, which was to be expected... i had totally grown accustomed to seeing the staff and Dr. Mo each week.  they told me i need to come back once i have more of a bump, especially since my OB is just next door... and they said they for sure want to see me once the baby is here.  in a strange way i feel like this little one is partly their baby too seeing how they helped us to conceive and were there every step of the way to ensure we made it through the first trimester safely and healthy.  and i pray that when we decide to try for number 2 that we can get pregnant on our own, but in a funny way i would have no problem going right back to work with them again in a heartbeat because they really were that great and so worth the investment!