are we there yet? {cd 12 doc visit}

ain't that the truth?... well, yesterday i saw Dr. Mo for my cd 12 check in and like i had a feeling we aren't there yet, but that's as i suspected.  so i rushed to make it down to my early, early appointment {no, i'm totally not a morning person, which i know will have to change when i'm a mommy}.  but after rushing to get down there early i did have a few minutes to sit in the ultrasound room and enjoy the view from Dr. Mo's office.

pretty sweet huh?  Dr. Mo is located right next to Fashion Island in Newport Beach, and yesterday morning was a beyond beautiful morning {something i am likely to miss being that i prefer not to make it a regular occurrence to be up and out of the house before 9 normally}. =)  the past week we've had really chilly days here in so cal and yesterday we'd had some santa ana winds that had blown away the smog and revealed this beautiful view of the ocean all the way to Catalina Island...  thank you God for the pretty gift you blessed me with while i was waiting for my check in.  i was reminded of Lam 3:22-24 "His mercies are new every morning, great is your faithfulness."  and this picturesque view was a reminder that He is indeed faithful and with every new morning i need to be reminded of that... and if i had to start my day off that early and not get the best news, at least i was able to sit an enjoy this calm before the doctor came in to discuss the next plan of action.

any who, back to the visit itself... she checked me and said my uterine lining was indeed getting thicker {yay}, and that i had a bunch of little follicles but only one that looked to be the promising one, however it was only about 11cm, and they prefer it to be closer to 18-20cm before they can give me the HCG trigger. so we're in a holding pattern until thursday.  i'll go back and get checked again to see if any other follicles have started maturing and how the dominant one is growing.

it's kinda surreal that we are finally actively pursuing fertility help, it feels like it's been a long time coming and we {really i} have had so many thoughts and concerns swirling in my head about moving forward with fertility treatments... one of which being that if we start really using fertility meds we run the risk of possible multiples out of the treatment.  and truth be told, while i had mentally and emotionally come to terms with the "idea" of having multiples it really was freaking me out a little bit!  twins are a total possibility given that J's family has a history of twins, but the thought of more than two, yeah i was letting my imagination get the best of me when i thought about that possibility....  but, after my first check in and hearing i really only had one follicle in the running my heart sank a little.  i was kind of hoping to have more than one follicle since that would up our chances of conceiving, but it would also up our chances of conceiving multiples too.  so its a little bittersweet to think that there's only one so far in the running.  but, i do know a guy, and He is in the business of creating miracles, so i can rest assured that if that one little follicle is meant to be our future child He will see to it that it all works out according to His plan and not mine.